Archive for June, 2011

I just read an article by Susan Cain in the NY Times about the advantages of being shy/introverted/socially anxious. Here are some correlates: Higher levels of knowledge, greater achievements, lower injury rates, more conscientious, higher in empathy.

During my clinical training the other students and I sometimes joked that “anxiety is my friend.” Anxiety certainly can be useful, if not overdone. All negative emotions send an important message — sometimes we grasp the message and do what is needed and sometimes we don’t. Understanding that message and what to do with it is part of emotional intelligence. For instance, realizing that I feel anxious about giving an upcoming speech might tell me that I am not adequately prepared or that I care too much about what others think of my behavior. I might then prepare more, while considering that my presentation quality has little practical importance — I might decide that I want to do well for the fun of it.

Have you found anxiety, depression, anger, etc. useful? In what way?

John Malouff, PhD, JD
Associate Professor of Psychology

In the back of my schedule book I have copied two famous quotes:

Knowledge is power (Francis Bacon)
All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing (Edmund Burke)

I apply the “knowledge” quote by working as an educator. I apply the “triumph” quote by supporting political causes oriented toward helping individuals gain human rights.

Many famous quotes have had great impacts: “We shall fight on the beaches…” (Winston Churchill), “I have a dream…” (Martin Luther King, Jr.).  Why?  Because they say something we think or feel. Because they speak with authority and sincerity. Because they are original.  Because they succinctly convey something that is emotionally important.

What are your favorite famous quotes? What appeals to you about them?

John Malouff, PhD, JD, Associate Professor of Psychology

In recruiting participants for her romantic-relationships study, UNE student Kimberley Coulter has become a darling of the media, with descriptions of her as a Research Scholar, Miss Excitement, and Dr Feelgood. So I invited her to write a guest posting for my blog. I will put it below.

John Malouff, PhD, JD
Associate Professor of Psychology

Men want sex and women need love? Is sex still the domain of men?
by Kimberley Coulter

I’m currently researching the effects of an intervention designed to increase excitement in romantic relationships. Sex is an obvious source of excitement and is an important part of my program. In my quest for participants, I have been surprised to hear the old stereotype that men want sex whilst women want love. I recently informed a radio presenter that I believed this was a rather sexist, outdated view. Apparently, I was wrong. A quick glance at Amazon.com revealed that the old stereotype is alive and well.

According to one, recently published, author, men and women want different things from a relationship and have widely different sexual attitudes and behaviours. Moreover, nothing much has really changed for hundreds of thousands of years in terms of men and women’s differing sexual urges and drives. Is this true?

Recent research suggests otherwise. In 2010, Petersen & Hyde, reported on a diverse range of studies and found little evidence for any substantial gendered sexual differences. Although some differences were found, evidence suggests that these reflect women’s tendency to under-report aspects of their sexuality. In other words, gender differences represent an artefact of socially desirable responding resulting from the continuing stigma associated with women’s sexuality. Overall, the researchers concluded that there is little difference between men and women‘s sexuality and any differences that are found are decreasing over time.

I tend to feel that men and women alike both enjoy sex, and men and women alike crave love and affection. What do you think? Is female sexual expression inhibited or do women need love and men sex?