Apologies for serious misconduct can have effects on the person who receives the apology and on the apologizer.

The person who receives the apology may feel better as a result and may be propelled toward acceptance or forgiveness of the transgression. The harmed person may also feel relieved if he or she thinks the transgressor will not cause more harm in the future. Finally, the harmed person may feel better about humans in general or about a specific group of humans.

However, it is wise for the harmed person to keep in mind that apologies can be insincere and can be made for reasons of manipulation. So view apologies in the context of these risks and in the context of the transgressor’s behavior over time. 

The apologizer may benefit by feeling less guilt or shame and by experiencing a boost to self-esteem. Will the offended person become less likely to seek punishment, revenge or avoidance of the transgressor due to an apology?

Possibly — if the transgressor takes some or all of these actions (1) gives a believable explanation for the misconduct, (2) expresses feelings of guilt, shame, or remorse, (3) states an intention to avoid a repeat and a plan for how to do that, and (4) offers to make amends. These same four actions will also help relieve anxiety of the harmed person about future behavior of the transgressor. 

Do my comments fit with your experiences regarding apologies?

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