I know individuals who have an urge to drink heavily and individuals who have an urge to travel.

Different people have different urges. Some of the urges seem genetically based. You can see the pattern going from generation to generation in a family. Learning can be involved too.

I have urges. Maybe you can explain their source to me.

Some of my urges are to do bad boy things. For instance, I want to participate in cancel culture. I would feel bad if I tried to destroy a specific individual who said something I did not like. So what to cancel? Here is my latest idea: I want to cancel Valencia oranges. I find them so inferior to Navel oranges that I would like to see the Valencias eliminated.

I worry though about individuals who grow Valencia oranges. They may feel bad and want to cancel me.

Another thing I want to do: Mansplain something to a woman. I offered to explain menstruation to a female friend; she seemed uninterested. I may need to persist.

Manspreading: This is another bad boy activity I want to try. It involves a man spreading his legs as far as possible to hog an extra seat on mass transportation. I have long legs — next time I am on a train in Sydney, watch out!

I would also like to spit the dummy. I learned that expression years ago when a tennis player told me my opponent for a night of team tennis was spitting the dummy. The key for me to spit the dummy is thinking that I am much better than an opponent and then raging while he thrashes me.

Next up: I want to be a tall poppy. That is such a despised position in Australia. I am not sure how to achieve the status. Brag continually? I can do that.

Some of my urges are in the odd category, not the bad boy category. I would like to order green eggs and ham in a café. My hope is that the waiter will respond by saying: “Who do you think you are, Dr Seuss?”

Another odd one: I want to say “pooh, pooh” to the tiger in the zoo. Like Ludwig Bemelmans’ Madeline.

Finally, I want to call someone amigo. I am ready to roll on this one, amigo.

I bet you have urges. If they will not lead you to ruin, satisfy them.

Photo by Jen Gunter on Unsplash