Is marriage fattening? You bet! Studies show that both men and women gain more weight when married. Marriage is more fattening for women than men. Pregnancy could contribute to that difference, but it could also be that married men and women tend to eat together and to eat the same portions with women not burning up as many calories as men. Women who marry tend to gain a good deal of weight in the first months of marriage. You’re heard of the freshmen 15, where university freshmen women gain 15 pounds? Marriage makes its own unique contribution to weight gain,but I can’t think of an alliterative way to say that — the marriage….
How about couples who live together unmarried? Do they gain more than dating couples and less than married? Yes.
And single, dating individuals — do they gain weight over time? Yes, again! The biggest weight-gain effect comes from just going on with life year after year, perhaps with gradually less physical activity and lower metabolism. Adults of all romantic states as a group tend to gain about one pound (1/2 kg) per year until they reach retirement age.
Is there some way to prevent weight gain over time and change in situation? Here is what I have done for decades: I set a maximum weight for myself in the recommended range for my height and weight and worked at keeping within that. When I went over, I increased physical activity. Lately I have had to decrease intake of calories also. For weight, preventing gain is much easier than losing weight and keeping it off.
What do you do to prevent weight gain?
John Malouff, PhD, JD
I’ve also heard the portion-size theory for marriage-related weight gain. Something I find interesting is the relationship between stress and weight gain. Some people pile on the pounds under pressure (how’s that for alliteration?), while others, myself included, lose weight.
To monitor weight gain, I tend to check belly fat, rather than weight. Six-pack good, four-pack okay, no-pack means it’s time to pull on the joggers and cut out the snacks.
Yes, some individuals eat more when stressed and some eat less. Belly size seems to be more important to health than body mass index. Even more important still for health is fitness level. By the way, married individuals tend to experience better health and to live longer than unmarried individuals.
Is that why those little fatty deposits around the belly/waist line are called “Love” Handles?
My partner and I have just joined a gym together… trying to shed those beloved handles. Your comments have further inspired me to postpone the wedding, and stay happily engaged for the next 40 years or so. Maybe I won’t have to work so hard at the gym 😉
I like your comment about the love handles!
Women gain more than men once married hey? I’ve only heard of the “Chubby Hubby” phrase which normally applies to men who have been married less than a year and have suddenly rounded out. I put it down to be content and happy though. When I’m really happy and not stressed I normally gain 1 or 2kgs too. 🙂
Hi Amy. I have seen male and female students complete their university studies, get married, and gain a huge amount of weight within a year. Do they think that now that they are married, they need not concern themselves with appearance? Does the change in living location and circumstances that goes along with marriage (and with no longer being a student) throw them off their prior patterns of eating and exercise? Do they eat more high-calorie food? You suggest that the couples gain weight because they feel happier after getting married. Does that happiness lead to complacency about weight? To more eating? To less exercise?
Weight gain. It’s a part of life. I have 7 children, and up to 5 years ago I was a nice size 11 -12. Stress does put on weight for some, and not others. In the past few years, I have had a weight problem through 2 car accidents and one motor bike accident. It caused stress to the body, and perhaps an alignment problem with my back which caused injuries whilst going to the gym. Ahh who cares??? Hmm me. Not all people gain weight because they give up. By the way, my children are now grown up, so I kept my weight down for many a years. Oh and my man of 38 years still has a good figure. but he does work hard!
Hi Gabrielle. You make a good point about weight gain being part of life. Children are biologically driven to grow and add weight. Adults may be biologically driven to add weight as an evolutionary strategy to avoid starvation. So keeping weight constant can be a big challenge. Nowadays lifestyles don’t require much exercise — food can be obtained in unlimited quantities at any time — foods are available that are both delicious and loaded with calories. So how do individuals like your husband maintain a constant weight? Lots of physical activity? Doing what? Is there some way a romantic relationship can serve as an aid in maintaining a desired weight?
My husband works hard, but he found beer to put it on. We went vegetarian and he lost a lot of weight, but me I lost in the first month and then gained again. I do not work physical work as he does. We are back to our old diet of yummy meat, vegetables and fruit, but he found moderation in all, that fixes him. As for me, I presently fight putting it on, I can’t take it off without health risks for now. I can’t do the gym thing presently. It has been about nine to ten years (not five, boy does time fly by) since those accidents which started the ball rolling of my weight problem. I actually believe had I stuck to my normal eating habits and stayed away from those diets, I would have still been a slender figure. I just have to exercise. then the body doesn’t go into startvation mode. Oh well, I still have my mind, so I’m happy.
Yes I also believe if one is in a happy state the body will work better. I gert really annoyed at some commercials telling parents that their kids should eat margarine as to butter, because butter apparently makes you fat. If you send your kids out to play (physical exercise) they can eat as much as they need and not put on weight or have high cholestral. Hmm my spelling may be amiss there. Anyway enough of that. Have a good day.
Hi John
well my husband is living proof! He has put on my more weight (and lost) since we got married. WE both have to be honest. I know I eat more with him (I try not to serve up the same portions but I inevitably do!) and I have a love of chocolate and lollies which he eats as I’m eating them. We are our own worst enemies!
I have joined the gym and he has started exercising again. Feels like a loosing battle but hey you’ve got to start somewhere. It’s being conscious of it and making that first step isn’t it, that can help to change it.
Once you hit 30 it’s all down hill weight wise!!!!
Hi Bianca. I also work out in a gym. Exercise is half the equation for weight control (calorie intake is the other half). For health purposes tho, being fit has more value than being normal weight, and exercise helps produce fitness. I also find that I feel good during and after a workout. Exercise-produced endorphins serve as a heroin-like hit. The exercise also makes me feel as if I am doing something good and challenging. So I get mental and physical health benefits.
I think its any big life change, I put on about 2kgs once I left high school. As do most girls. But I lost it working behind the bar 60hrs a week. Then gained it again when i changed to a sit down office job. Then lost it by exercising in my lunch hour! But then had a baby and now i’m a stay at home single mum and uni student via distance. My weight is 5kgs above what it was before baby. I don’t think it’ll ever go back again – granted i don’t exercise. I figure I do enough running around with my toddler and we live upstairs so any house chores; shopping bags, laundry, bin night etc… I consider my exercise because of the stairs! But if I am in a stress-free, happy life stage I gain weight. I guess I’m happy within myself and treat myself more and enjoy my meals. Plus being a mum you eat what your toddler doesn’t so you don’t waste food, so you tend to eat 1 and ahalf meals instead of just one! I think weight-gain after marriage would be very hard to pin-point because of all the variables.
Hi Amy. Life changes that throw us off our usual habits or that drain our energy can lead to less exercise and more eating and thus weight gain. I often hear women say that they don’t exercise because they spend enough time chasing after their kids. I think that they feel worn out not so much by the amount of physical activity but by the heavy time demands, a lack of sleep, and the psychological pressures of caring for a young child. Individuals have only a limited amount of energy day after day. Some parents put the child in a buggy and go for long walks, but that is not easy to do if there are also older children (who resist going). I can see how feeling happy might lead to weight gain for some individuals (who are enjoying food?) and weight loss for others (who feel good enough to exercise and to control their eating?). Mums can develop risky eating habits like eating food left by the child and eating fast to have time to carry out a zillion actions for the child. It is not easy being a mum!