Some experts and ordinary folks want men to show vulnerability, but most men are not inclined in that direction. To me and to most men, vulnerability means being weak in case of attack. That is the traditional meaning of the word.
Those who want men to show vulnerability actually want men to share their inner thoughts and emotions (even fears) with trusted others. That open behavior is more likely to happen if the enouraraging person does not use the word “vulnerable.” In the context of deep thoughts and emotions, expressing them could possibly leave a man vulnerable to ridicule and manipulation. Using the term “vulnerable” highlights that risk and is likely to make a man resist going in that direction.
If you want a man to talk about his deepest thougths and feelings, say that exactly. Don’t mention vulnerability. Words matter.
There are many potential benefits for men in opening up, in letting their inner self come out. The disclosures could help a person’s mental health, help deepen relationships, and help others understand the person. Use good judgment about when to disclose, what to disclose, and to whom. Open up gradually more, and you are likely to be pleased with the results.
Photo by Tim Marshall on Unsplash
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