Look round and you will see change happening and some people reacting with fear. Same-sex marriage has thrown some people for a loop. At the University of New England, a structural reorganization has led to angst.

Change is hard psychologically on a person. We do not respond well to changes such as the loss of someone important. Our own impending death is a change that frightens almost everyone. Many children fear the brief change involved in being separated from their parents. We call that fear separation anxiety.

In 1970, Alvin Toffler wrote a book titled “Future Shock,” in which he wrote that the pace of social and technological change had become so fast that people were starting to feel shocked. The pace of change has only increased in recent decades, with development of the Internet, replacement of human workers with computers and robots, and increased acceptance of gays, women, and different ethnic groups.

One problem with change is the uncertainty it causes. Our ancestors learned that change can be good, but it can also be disastrous, as when the rains cease and the crops fail. We may have genes that predispose us to fear change.  

Another problem with change is that adjusting to it requires mental energy. We naturally try to conserve our mental energy. Hence, we follow habits that eliminate the need to make conscious decisions. I teach a university course on behavior modification. Every year, I change the course only as much as I see fit.

If we have lived a while, we have had personal experiences with change.  For instance, when I moved from the U.S., to Australia, I had much to learn. I could not change a light bulb and I could not connect a garden hose to a tap. I eventually learned to use push-and-twist connectors.

Sometimes the change has good effects. We do not pay much attention then. But if change ever leads to bad effects, we naturally focus our attention on how to avoid those effects in the future. One idea we consider is avoiding change.

Individuals vary in their reactions to change. Some generally anxious people develop a phobia of change. They want nothing to change. We might perceive them as stuck in the past, but they actually are trapped by fear. They will not move to a different part of the country where they could get a better job. They will not leave an unpleasant relationship.

Some individuals are open to change. They feel confident that they can deal with whatever life throws them. They perceive changes as challenges or as opportunities.

How can we best cope with change? One good response is to accept that change is inevitable. Going farther down that path, one can look for opportunities to benefit from change. Death could bring heaven or something equally exciting. Loss of a loved one could lead us to adopt the best characteristic of that person – as a tribute and as a matter of self-development.

Another method of coping with change is to seek social support. When we talk with someone about the strains we feel due to change, and the person truly listens and cares, we usually feel better. It is as if the other person shares the stress load.