When I teach Behavior Modification, I tell my students to include praise in every intervention. When I teach leadership I suggest using praise. Why do I push praise so much?
1. Praise is usually a powerful motivator. It is powerful in part because it is rare in the life of most individuals. If you want to see someone repeat a certain type of behavior in the future, praise it now. About the only time praise has no effect is when it is perceived as not genuine. So praise sincerely.
2. Praise, when given for specific behavior, teaches the praised person what behavior leads to positive outcomes. That is part of what makes it so valuable to children, and also to adults who are trying to learn some new skill. So focus the praise on specific behavior. Thanking a person for doing something has similar educational value.
3. Praising is free, easy, and fast.
4. Praising can be done at almost any time. The exceptions are when the person is focused on some task or is not available.
5. Praising tends to lift the mood of both the praiser and the praisee. It is fun for everyone!
6. Praising others creates a positive social image — it shows self-confidence, awareness, and interest in others.
7. Praising others tends to be reciprocated at some point, just as criticizing others tends to be reciprocated.
8. Praising others sets a positive model for others. They become more likely to praise someone. You can start a domino effect!
9. You can praise your own behavior. Who knows better than you what you did well, what obstacles you overcame, and what sacrifices you made for the good of others?
There is a continuing risk that we will take for granted the positive behavior of others (and ourselves). Fight that — you can accomplish much with praise.
Whom have you praised today? For what? Can you squeeze in any more praise before the day is done?
John Malouff, PhD, JD, Assoc Prof of Psychology
Hi John,
I’m one of your UNE BM students 🙂
I have a 8yo boy who has a pessimistic explanatory style. One of the ways I scaffold him is to provide praise when he is being optimistic. The other day when he independently changed his negative mood into a positive one I commented “great job changing your attitude to a positive one all by yourself Hugo, I am very proud of you”. Interesting this comment instantly made him go solemn. Later when I settled him into bed and we were talking about the good and bad things in his day he commented “mum, when you said I did a good job changing my attitude it mad me feel bad because it reminded me I was in a bad mood before that and then I couldn’t get out of it again”
Any suggestions on how to tackle this better in the future?
Thanks,
Kerrie.
Hi Kerrie. His response suggests a depressogenic manner of thinking. It also carries the risk of punishing (in the learning sense) the nice treatment of him by others. I suggest that you continue to praise him for positive behavior, keeping in mind that he may at times respond negatively to whatever you say. If nothing else, your praise has informational (feedback) value to him and it shows interest in him.
I’d like to praise the guy who takes the time to write a regular and interesting blog, amongst his other chores and choices. Thanks John.
Thanks, Michael.