Read the newspaper in Australia and learn about men killing their girlfriend by throwing her off a balcony or off a cliff. In other countries, men use guns to kill their romantic partner. These events do not happen as often as one might think from following the news, but men do kill their partner at an alarming rate. Why?
The reasons vary, but the case of Oscar Pistorius, who is on trial for murder provides a good example of passion-related killing. He used hollow-point bullets (that create huge holes) to shoot his girlfriend to death. His defense is that he thought he was shooting an intruder, not her, through the bathroom door. Also, he claims he did not intend to fire his gun — it went off accidentally four times.
The trial, which currently is being broadcast worldwide over the Internet, gives hints about why he shot her to death. Four reasons seem to apply.
1. He is impulsive/immature. Oscar is charged with two other charges, firing a gun out of the roof of a car while it was moving and two other individuals were in the car. He allegedly fired in response to his unhappiness with events in a police stop a short time before. He is also charged with firing a handgun in an outdoor cafe, as he took it from a friend. That firing seems accidental, as he was not angry at the time.
2. He is aggressive. He criticized his girlfriends, he enjoyed firing hollow-point bullets into watermelons to see them explode, and he carried a loaded gun everywhere,
3. He is insecure/afraid. During the trial, he has often wept and vomited. He often speaks in a weak tone of voice. He acted jealous with the woman he killed. He carried a loaded gun. This insecurity could be the result, to use an idea of Alfred Adler, of having an inferiority complex relating to his lacking the lower part of his legs.
4. He lives in a violent patriarchy, South Africa. This country has one of the highest murder rates in the world. As in almost all current societies, men there tend to hold power and to perceive women as less than equal. Hence, there are very high rates of rape, with estimates that half of the women in South Africa have been raped. Social environments tend to shape the behavior of individuals in the society.
These same four factors, being impulsive/immature, being aggressive, feeling insecure/afraid, and living in a violent patriarchy, may explain many cases of men killing their romantic partner in a fit of passion. The factors combine personality characteristics and social influences.
What can societies do to reduce the rate of men killing their romantic partner? What can individual women do to reduce their risk? What can individual men do to avoid taking the life of their wife or girlfriend?
John Malouff, PhD, Assoc Prof of Psychology
Hi John,
Would it also suffice to mention that Pistorius’ emotional outbursts of crying seem to be timely and all quite rehearsed. Understanding that yes he would have needed to prepare for the testimony and guided by his attorney, however though if he was truly innocent he would not be able to be sooo controlled!
Your list of questions are just to difficult to even come up with an idea. However here are my suggestions:
– more targeted advertising around this issue (similar to quit smoking ads
– educating women who may be subject to abuse; in self awareness and ways of noticing the signs with suggestions of what to do and who to see
– changing some of the laws and criteria for reporting domestic violence and follow-up strategies
– overall more educations on signs of aggression coming on for both the male and female
– publications of who/ where to go for help
– plus more….but all begins with education and reinforcement.
What do you think, are some of the possibilities for change in this area?
Loving your posts
Carmen
Hi Carmen. I like your idea of educating women in warning signs of impending domestic abuse. I can hypothesize some, but I am not familiar with any research findings on the matter: The man (1) criticizes the woman often, (2) tries to control her behaviour, (3) tries to separate the woman from friends and family, (4) repeatedly treats the woman with disrespect, (5) threatens the woman, (6) acts very jealous or possessive, (7) falsely accuses the woman of misbehaviour, (8) frequently shows anger toward her, (9) acts aggressive in general or with her, (10) spies on her, (11) demands to know where she has been, (12) keeps weapons on his person. What other possible signs can you think of?
Hi John,
Excellent list of: “12 warning signs you are a victimised person in an abusing relationship”
This can apply to both parties.
Unfortunately I would expect that a large number of victimised individuals do not become aware of danger signs until later stages. Hence such a campaign would be very beneficial.
I am also not aware of studies in this area, however through some of the Psych course units it would indicate that such a study would be of great reward and importance in today’s society and future generations.
Where does one go to find out what studies have been conducted or are being conducted on what and when? Is there such a database or association? Does the APA or APS provide such information?
Very interesting topic John.
A few years ago i lived in a southern suburb of Sydney where the local crime statistics were the high in ‘domestic violence’.
In socialising with the neighbours. Everyone was: very friendly, helpful, sometimes too helpful, sharing, 2-3 cars per household, neat homes and gardens and so on…the perception was of a happy neighbourhood and not of an area that one would have such statistics. However after a few years and really getting to know these neighbours it became so evident in so many ways the suffering that a few (both men and women) underwent in their daily lives.
I think this was one of the reasons i decided to learn more about psychology!
Hi. To find relevant studies, go to Google Scholar and enter key words, such as predictors/signs domestic abuse. Students can also go into the campus library online and search PsychINFO.
I found this on Google Scholar, but it is not research:
https://discoverarchive.vanderbilt.edu/handle/1803/3757
Hi John,
I appreciate your article, and would love us to talk about these types of issues more in our community. Thanks for highlighting some of the dimensions underlying this behaviour.
I do want to suggest, however, that the title of the post, which refers to men’s women is quite patriarchal – these victims of violence are not the men’s women. I am sure its not your intention to imply male ownership of women, however I think we all have to do our best to undermine patriarchal systems wherever we can, including in our language.
Thanks,
Ben