I just read that Bill Clinton said the best advice he ever received came from Nelson Mandela.: Focus on the future, not on unpleasant parts of the past. I like that — if Nelson Mandela can let the past go after all that he went through in prison, I can lean that way also. The story about Clinton made me wonder: What was the best advice I ever received? It is hard to judge, but one bit of advice comes to mind. A high school math teacher, Mr. Nolan, told me one day in class to “shoot for the top.” I did not take that advice in high school, where I hardly tried, but I put a lot of effort into my education and work after high school. At one point I spent 70 hours a week, month after month, studying in law school. I still work hard, except when I goof off. Runner up for best advice given to me goes to my law school classmate Sue Stearns’ telling me to “loosen up” (I did, once i stopped studying 70 hours a week!).
People love to give advice, I suppose because it gives a person a sense of control and helps fulfill the desire to help others. Receiving advice is less fun than giving it, to the extent that we experience the advice as criticism or pressure. Still, good advice can have great value.
What is the best advice you ever received? Who gave it to you?
John Malouff, PhD, JD
Assoc Prof of Psychology
Hi John
I’m still trying to figure out the consistent advice I got from every primary school teacher, “Michael should look before he leaps” … I’m sure it is potentially valuable, and may have been for some decades … I was a good student, good athlete … if only I knew what it meant … personally, I’ve always liked the mantrum of Stanford’s finest, Ram Dass, Be Here Now .. haven’t read the book, but still love the bumper sticker, and the advice seems to resonate with me ..
Hi MS. Ah yes, live in the moment. I do that often. Famous psychologist Philip Zimbardo wrote a great book on the different time perspectives (e.g., looking backward, forward, or at the present) that people take and the results of taking any one of these too much: The Time Paradox: The New Psychology of Time That Will Change Your Life.