Psychologists have long assessed cognitive intelligence. More recently, psychologists have assessed emotional intelligence, both as a trait and as an ability. Could there be something important that we would call romantic intelligence? One possible definition: The ability to establish romantic relationships that are mutually satisfying, that involve relatively little conflict, and that continue over substantial periods of time. There is no scientific way at present to measure romantic intelligence. If we could measure it, would it add something important to measures of cognitive and emotional intelligence?
To the extent that you can tell, how does your level of romantic intelligence compare to that of others your age and sex?
What are the components of romantic intelligence? Empathy? Warmth? Keeping promises? Providing social support? Being exciting? Listening? Choosing appropriate romantic partners?
Does your partner have a high romantic IQ?
John Malouff, PhD
Associate Professor of Psychology
Romantic is for those newly in love.
After 38/9 years that love has changed to one of affection and a principle love.
The Greeks use different words to describe the word love. They have four words they use to describe love, the two that I mentioned are: agape = principle love 2. philia = affection.
Just being considerate, yes warm, truth, empathy, are excellent qualities.
But not all these have been in my marriage. The country that my husband came from the people can be rather gruff, and don’t usually use the niceties that a woman would like to hear.
But he is faithful and a very hard worker, he puts up with me, I can be a trial, His expectations are reasonable. What can I say, faithfullness is a necessary quality!
Provides for me.
He is intelligent.
Has a weird sense of humour and so do I.
No I can’t say he listens to me. Hmm maybe I don’t listen to him.
He is boring, you know, loves his footy and I hate it.
Loves his music and I only like some of it. Plays the stuff I don’t like when I’m out.
And so it goes on, I have to be reasonable and so does he.
We both come half way to meet peace.
there is more but I must rest for now, big day tomorrow.
Hi John,
I realy like this blog. I think my relationship intelligence, along with my emotional intelligence are very different to that of my friends and colleagues. I really love to love my friends, family and boyfriend and have been this way for as long as I can rememeber. It can be to my own detrament at times when I feel strongly about injustices that I see happening around me or even just giving my heart away on my sleeve to past boyfriends. At work, I am more emotionally sensitive when people make office gossip about others; however, it helps me to read into how people are feeling, allowing me to interact in a more sensitive or appropriate way. It wasn’t until I met my current beau that I finally feel matched in finding someone who appreciates my lovey nature, for he is very similar. And now looking around me there are so many, almost all of my friends in relationships where they seem to lack care, empathy, passion and most of all, friendship. In all I definately feel like I have lots of love and support in my life. It wasn’t always an easy life, but because I kept love in my sights and gave it out for everyone to share, I think it came back to me which is really nice.
Hi Isabelle. You and Gabrielle make the point that we tend to get treated by others the way we treat them. Realizing that and acting accordingly in a relationship may be part of romantic intelligence.