What happens in couples counseling?

by | Aug 8, 2010 | Uncategorized | 1 comment

What happens in couples counseling depends on the couple’s goals and the orientation of the counselor. The couple might receive training in communication or problem solving. One specific, common counseling technique involves asking the partners to catch each other doing something nice and express appreciation for that at least once every day for a week. This technique can be good for all couples, but it is especially important for couples who recently have had mostly negative exchanges. Expressing gratitude can start an upward spiral of pleasant behavior reciprocated with pleasant behavior. What do you think? Anyone doing this as a matter of habit? With what results?

John Malouff, PhD
Associate Professor of Psychology

1 Comment

  1. Hi,
    I am going to try that and see what happens. Although my partner will cook dinner for me and make me a cup of tea, he will not verbalise anything positive. Sometimes i have felt that he could not even say my name. He addresses me as you..We have been together 7 years and i always tell him he looks nice when we go out but he doesnt recipocate. I know i look nice and i know he thinks so as i can see it on his face but it would be nice to hear it from him sometimes. A nice compliment i received from him just recently was that he doesnt make mistakes when i go out sailing with him. haha. He tells me that he makes lots of stuff ups with male friends as they talk and boss him around and he needs to really concentrate. Whereas when i go i am happy to let him be the Captain and i do as i am asked which is usually steer the boat while he changes the sails. Sailing is not my passion but i dont mind going sometimes more so for him. Its interesting though as when i am on the boat i do all the cooking and cleaning as if that is my job. He is shy so do you think i will ever get some positive words from him, love is a taboo word as well, he freezes and is uncomfortable and his eyes glaze over. I get amused most times but it would be nice to hear those nice words from him. I couldnt ask for a nicer person but just no words….

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